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Dear Puzzle Enthusiast,
I have spent many unhappy years doing many unhappy things, and I do not recommend it. My work researching Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire and their endless troubles with Count Olaf leaves me moaning, weeping, and pulling out my hair almost every night, including weekends.
But there is no reason for you to spend your life the same way. Instead, you might choose to spend your youth distracted by mildly entertaining activities. Like school, prison, or an enormous cake with a spyglass baked into it, this collection of puzzles and games will help keep you "out of trouble," a phrase which here means "far away from distressing books and movies." In this short digest alone, I have collected such instructive diversions as a do-it-yourself blindfold, a coded message, a crossword puzzle, and a monkey fist -- enough to fill up several years of your life.
I am bound to continue my research into the tragic lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you have an opportunity to do cheerier things with your time. Take it.
With all due respect,

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