Caution! This appears to lead back to the homepage
Caution! This appears to lead back to the homepage Caution! This appears to lead back to the homepage
 
The Carnivorous Carnival: Book the Ninth
by Lemony Snicket and Brett Helquist

More frightening than a fortune-teller, and almost as suspicious.

Read the first chapter

Buy the hardcover, audiocassette, CD or library edition in the US.
Buy the hardcover, audiocassette, CD or library edition in Canada.


You'd be better off not reading anything more about this alarming volume, including this letter found on the back of the book.

Dear Reader,

The word "carnivorous," which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating," and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby.

Sadly for me, my time is filled with researching and recording the displeasing and disenchanting lives of the Baudelaire orphans. But your time might be better filled with something more palatable, such as eating your vegetables, or feeding them to someone else.

With all due respect,

You will probably not find this Guide helpful.
Art by Brett Helquist