Lemony Snicket

The Hostile Hospital: Book the Eighth
by Lemony Snicket and Brett Helquist

More distasteful than medicine, and almost as sick.

Read the first chapter

Buy the hardcover, audiocassette, CD or library edition in the US.
Buy the hardcover, audiocassette, CD or library edition in Canada.

You'd be better off not reading anything more about this alarming volume, including this letter found on the back of the book.

Dear Reader,

Before you throw this awful book to the ground and run as far away from it as possible, you should probably know why. This book is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful books in the world.

There are many pleasant things to read about, but this books contains none of them. Within its pages are such burdensome details as misleading newspaper headlines, unnecessary surgery, an intercom system, anesthesia, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about such things.

I have sworn to research this story, and to write it down as best I can, so I should know that this book is something best left on the ground, where you undoubtedly found it.

With all due respect,